Today I remembered that I used to take Valerian at bedtime and that breathe-right nose strips actually work for me. My ex swears by them, not for himself but because he says its the only time I didn't keep him awake snoring. I also bought some Extra Strength Sleepytime Tea. And I'm going to give St. John's Wort a try.
I need to finish up making my bedroom into a better sleeping-encouraging room. And I'm gonna hang up that blackout curtain so my neighbor's outside light isn't shining right through my curtains all fucking night. It doesn't even help when they turn it off because the change in the light disturbs me. And I need to re-position my fan so it isn't blowing on me, but I need the noise.
So I am adjusting my OTC meds. I don't take any scripts and don't want any, although I would take a Valium or a Xanax right about now, happily. I haven't slept any meaningful amount of time in deep sleep in so long I would for sure take something that was gonna knock me down for 10 hours. That black sleep I took for granted as a kid. Oh my kingdom for that again, without drugs.
Anyway, I am cutting back my melatonin. It really does help me sleep, but it also encourages dreaming somewhat and I don't need that so much as I need to stay asleep and not be so easily disturbed. The tiniest thing will send a spike of adrenaline through me and then I'm like, "Oh goody, another hour..." So I want to keep the lulling effect of the melatonin, but not so much on the dream state, I need to be able to get through the dream state and down into deep sleep, which is what is not happening, at all. I have been taking 20 mg melatonin, I am going to cut back to 10.
I am however adding both Valerian and St. John's Wort, so we'll see, maybe I can go back up on the melatonin down the road, it really does promote vivid dreams. But like I said, the dream state is not what I am having trouble with. I think I am going to go with the most common recommended for the St. John's: 300 mg 3x/day for 4-6 weeks then cut back to 2x as long as it works. And I've taken Valerian before, I know I can handle it at least 500 mg at bedtime. And yes I am still taking Tylenol PM pretty much very night. I got the rapid release gels this time and I don't love them, I'll go back to the regular tabs or if there is a gradual release formula I might even try that. The rapid release gels knock me out but they wear off too fast.
Anyway, I know that sounds like a lot of meds. It's really not, and they're all OTC and mostly homeopathic. And whatever. I am going to get some sleep. Like I said, I would take some (handfuls of...) prescription meds at this point, and I really really hate pharma. But it has gotten to the point that I am occasionally having a hard time distinguishing if I am asleep or awake. So really, time to kick it up a notch.
My Sleepytime Tea must be steeped by now.
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