💪✨👽Time to make some adjustments - new rules ✔⚡🌈

241. Lost 1 lb this week, making 56 lbs lost overall.

The last couple weeks has been interesting. I have been feeling crappy and only went to the gym 3 times two weeks ago and only 2 days this past week. But, in spite of that, I have still managed to stay on my nutritional and weight goals for the most part. A little disappointing to only see 1 lb lost. But that is not a setback. I have to keep reminding myself that progress is still progress. 

Part of why I was feeling so shitty though was that I think I hit a limit in terms of my exercise regimen. I was pushing myself too hard and I crashed a little bit. I have had to admit that what I was doing was not sustainable in the long term. I kept raising the bar all the time. Instead of just letting something be a hard push, I allowed it to be the new benchmark and it ultimately did not work.

The interesting part is that I continued to have success and see results even when I fell off the wagon for a little bit. I also have to forgive myself -- I didn't just quit, I was not feeling well and I had to take some time to rest, like completely rest. And, I managed to do that without wrecking my plan or backtracking in terms of my weight. I did gain a little bit but I dropped it all again, and still hit a new lowest weight. 

At any rate, it's time to reevaluate my rules. 

RULE 1: THE GYM

I never officially made a rule about going to the gym 5x/wk, and I am going to reiterate to myself that the actual RULE is: 3x/wk and if I only go 3 times, I am hitting the mark 100%. I will continue to aim for 5x/wk, but that is bonus points, not the goal post. 

I also need to start getting to the gym earlier. Just a few minutes, so I'm not so crushed for time trying to get to work. I find I need overall about an hour and 15 min on weight lifting days, and just under an hour on cardio-only days. So on M-W-F, I really should be getting to the gym by 6. So....... *drags feet*........ I really should be out of bed by 5 on those mornings. I know it's only a few minutes difference and it's not like I actually get any meaningful rest in those 10 minutes. Gotta commit to this again. 

RULE 2: THE HOME TREADMILL

I want to adjust my home treadmill schedule a little. I find the 45-60 min sessions in the evening are a huge drain on my personal time. I feel resentful towards that time drain, but also still compelled to do it for my health. I think I am going to dial it back to 30 minutes, which is a much neater package in terms of fitting it in without it becoming the main event. But in exchange for the lower time commitment, I am going to raise the bar to 6x/wk. Probably Friday will be the off-night, as that is also during my weekly 24-hour fast (noon Fri - noon Sat.) 

RULE 3: MY DIET IS GETTING BORING

I am really pleased with my dietary fitness for the most part. I can say confidently that my nutritional profile is about 80-90% whole foods only, and 50% of my calories or more come from fruits & vegetables. The only processed food I eat in any quantity is dairy -- mostly Greek yogurt and cottage cheese, and feta or bleu cheese crumbles. I still occasionally eat a little bit of white pasta, it's a go-to comfort food that I will probably never give up. And I will still eat an English muffin once in a while, and if I have some bread or something once in a while I don't beat myself up over it. Oh yeah, and granola -- but I buy the Kashi Go Lean Flax blend organic granola, so minimal processing and made with whole ingredients. And I don't eat much of it; a 14 oz. box lasts me 2 weeks. I take it to work with my fruit & yogurt for breakfast about every other day and I eat it by the handful out of the box when I need a snack. 

However, my diet is getting a little boring. I need to change up some of my recipes. I also need to think a little about two things: a) changing the taste profile on my standard meals, and b) increasing the variety of what I eat. I had to just go nose-to-the-grindstone at first, eat the same thing every day, track every calorie, every macro, really get it ironed in. But now, I can see my way a lot more clearly, and since I have totally reset my nutritional profile, healthy eating and positive choices come easy to me. I can experiment a little. 

Which brings me to another topic.... Weight Watchers.

I really love WW. It was what made all of this possible. Without WW, I would never have been able to start losing weight which was what facilitated everything else. Their system is really good, and it is especially good if you don't have any fucking clue what to do or where to start. If you work their system and follow the rules, it works -- and, it works by helping you facilitate a lifestyle change, not just by being a "diet." WW is not a diet. 

That said, I am thinking about quitting WW. For some time now, my go-to tracking app has been MyFitnessPal. And I don't go to WW meetings, nor do I participate in any of the social networking or online content, I don't even read the articles in the app. I just use the app. And for that, I am paying $20/mo. It was worth it for me at the beginning when I needed my hand held. But now, I really don't feel like I need it any more. I've been thinking about this for a couple months now. And, as I have been steadily transitioning my tracking to MyFitnessPal, I find I am only going to the WW app as a cursory thing, like "Oh yeah, go track my WW stuff." Like, I use it because I'm paying for it, not the other way around. 

I think I just talked myself into it. I do worry that I will have some kind of backslide if I leave WW. But, I also know that is not true. And I could join again if I all of a sudden started falling behind my goals. It's not "quitting." It's adapting, and getting $20 back in the budget. I am very grateful to WW for being the catalyst for my weight loss and fitness goals. It is not about WW. Is that weird that I feel loyalty to WW like it is a person? Like I have to apologize for leaving. LOL 

Halfway Mark - Big Landmark!

Weighed in at 242, so 55 lbs. lost overall, which also marks the halfway point, 50% of my weigh loss goal. So we're in the 2nd half now. I'm starting to notice it when I look in the mirror. A lot of my old clothes fit me again, some are too big. I am down to a 36 waist, and clothes I was going to donate because I had given up on the hope of them fitting me again, are back on the hangers.

A funny note about underwear: so, anyone who knows me, knows that one of my Basic Gay Traits is that I love love love cute underwear. And, since I have lost over 50 lbs., a lot of my really cute underwear not only fits again, but looks good again. The funny part is coming, I promise, here it is: since my underwear collection has re-entered my wardrobe there is a a new category -- Underwear I Can't Wear To The Gym. LOL. Enough said.

Two weeks ago I was sick a couple days and I only went to the gym 3 days, so last week it was a little rough getting back on track. I actually didn't go to the gym last Monday, so this week will be the first back-to-full. I did lose 5 lbs, and hit the halfway mark. Also did my measurements. I've lost 1 1/2 inches off my chest and 2 inches off my belly and 4 inches off my waist. I'm starting to be able to see actual muscles in my chest and arms. I'm looking good and feeling better. I've also started to get the sense that it is really a marathon, not a sprint. I was worried about my weight loss dropping off after having a half-week off and then kinda dialing it back last week and instead, I had one of the best results I've seen in a while. My average weight loss is holding steady at 2.5 lbs. / wk. If I really maintain that, I could hit my goal weight by the end of September, like 2 months + ahead of schedule.

Wow!! My old clothes fit me again! 20% of my starting weight lost! 💪💪✨🌈✔✔✔

So I realized I should probably be celebrating 50+ lbs. lost a little more. I am just about at the halfway mark toward my goal, which puts me about 30 days ahead of schedule. Weighed in this week at 244, meaning 2 lbs lost last week and 53 lbs lost overall. The biggest change I have noticed is in my face, which I am really happy about.

I also tried on a bunch of my clothes that I have been too fat for, some of them for like 4-5 years since they fit me. All of my size 38 waist pants fit me again. And my XL shirts all fit again. Here's a  few of my fav shirts that fit me again, it's so awesome. I remember more than once thinking I should just get rid of them because I thought I would never be able to get into them again, and here I am wearing them:

Those were my top 3 go-to shirts. I am so happy they are fitting me again. I gotta iron them all. They've been languishing in my closet for a the better part of a decade.

This is the first time I have really noticed a difference in my appearance since starting this lifestyle change I am working on. I was feeling a little down, in spite of the scale telling me a different story. And then the other day I posted a selfie on FB and a ton of people commented on how they could see the change in my face, and I was honestly floored by it myself. Here it is:

And I think I look even better today, in the comparison pic above.

I've lost 53 lbs, which is aaaaaalllllmost 20% of my starting weight. I also have noticed that my body shape is really starting to change. I'm not ready to share any of the body pics. But I am starting to have noticeable pecs, my man boobs are going away, and my waist is shrinking -- I have tightened my belt down 3 notches in 5 months. My legs are starting to get really defined and I am getting stronger, lifting heavier and in better form all the time, and my cardio is way up, average 80 minutes a day and I have to get up to at least 3.5 - 4 mph before my heart rate hits 120. I've been going to the gym 5x a week for a consistent 2 months now, and I feel like I am starting to settle into a sustainable routine, and the results are right there on camera. I am overjoyed. 53 lbs lost, 59 to go. That's a hell of a lot better than 112 to go back in November. I also feel like I can do it, and I am enjoying being healthier, I look forward to going to the gym at 5am. I never thought I would be "one o those people who goes to the gym before dawn." Turns out I love going to the gym before work.

Sunday Walk Report, a.k.a. rest day rebound from hell

Probably should have ate some breakfast before I went for my Sunday walk, but it is such a gorgeous, sunny day, I couldn't wait. I also should have brought some water. I hit the first couple hills pretty hard and felt a little weak and wobbly most of the rest of the way. I kept thinking, ok that endorphin rush is gonna kick in, and it did, but it was not very prolonged. I ended up taking a handful of short breaks, when I usually only take one, and I'm sure a couple cars that passed me wondered if I was drunk, lol. My knee gave a few "warning twinges," as I call them, so I also walked much slower than usual just to take extra care not to hurt myself. I was not expecting to flag so soon. My rest day yesterday was more like a crash day. I did put in a hard push last week, on a strict calorie deficit.

I officially declare the remainder of today to be back to rest mode.

I'm gonna do some minimal chores and sit my ass down. Probably face down into a GoT binge. I'm almost done with Season 3. Only 3 weeks until the Season 8 premier. I would normally put in another 45 min or so on my treadmill, but I am not gonna do that tonight I don't think.

OK, must end on a positive note. (Also note, learning from a bad experience is not negative...) I did see green grass, saw and heard running water all along the route, and most of the Penobscot River is open water with cool looking icebergs.

My Mindful

Eat mindfully.

Truthfully, I long believed this was total bullshit. "I've always been a fast eater, I always will be," was my mantra. I told myself that lie so many times I actually believed it. So, lately I have been trying to eat "mindfully" and it really does help me feel more satisfied with my meals, and to eat less overall.

Here is a true, science-based fact: it takes at least 15 minutes, sometimes as much as 30 minutes, for you to feel how full your stomach is from the last bite you eat.

Eating slower, and stopping eating for short periods during the meal help you to enjoy your food more and help you feel full from your meals. This is something I still have to consciously work on, but it does work if you work at it. Here's how I do it:

The very first rule I ever tried out was putting my fork down between bites. I have the rule that once I start to chew, the fork goes on the plate, completely out of my hand. I am still working on this goal. I am pretty good at it when I am at home, but I am still missing the mark at work. Oddly enough, I eat with other people at work, you'd think it would be the other way around, but it's not.

The second rule I tried on was having a sip of water between bites. I don't use it as a hard and fast rule right now, but I might make it one soon.

Once these things started producing results for me, I started listening to the ambient advice out there about "eating mindfully." One of the things I did believe all along was that you should make meals an important event. The idea behind eating mindfully is that you should focus on the meal and it's importance to you, and make meal time an event that has meaning -- not just sit in front of the TV and shovel down a bowl full of garbage.

I'm gonna put this right out there, and I don't give one fuck who thinks it's wrong, it is right for me: I watch TV while I eat dinner.

But, I do have some rules. First of all, I don't have broadcast TV, I have Hulu, Netflix, and Internet sources like YouTube and others, including Curiosity Stream which is an educational / documentary streaming service. I watch TV when I work out at home, too (I watch TV at the gym too...) but I have a rule for that as well: I only watch educational TV while I work out, no fiction or news. So my eating rule about TV is this: I only watch for-pleasure programming while I eat, so the opposite of the workout rule. BUT, no news. Part of My Mindful is that I create my own insular world where I am free and comfortable, which means no news, no perpetual outrage cycle creeping into my subconscious.

I also set up my environment for meal time. I light candles and put on incense and have a show queued up to start when I sit down to the meal. I make sure my chores for the day are done so that meal time is the runway into the rest of my evening. I also make sure to drink a big glass of water at least 15 minutes before I eat. And I normally smoke a nice fat bowl -- note, smoking weed does not give me the munchies, but it definitely enhances my enjoyment of food, and helps me relax and get into the "mindful mood."

I know to a person who does not have a fucked up relationship with food, it should go without saying that you also need to chew your food. But for me, chewing my food is important. Part of how I can be such a fast eater is that I only chew my food a couple times before I swallow it. That is also a function of binge eating -- the only way you can consume huge amounts of food is quickly. I've had a 10,000 calorie binge before. You don't cram that much food down your throat by chewing it too long. So part of My Mindful is that I focus on chewing, as well as tasting the food while I am chewing it.

So, set the scene. Make sure you're hydrated. Put the fork down between bites, chew the food completely before swallowing it, and drink water between bites. And watch something on TV that is for pleasure only.

The whole nitty gritty of my diet, what exactly I eat

I've been wanting to write a post for a while that describes my diet plan in detail. I have said a lot that I made a complete change in my dietary regimen, but I rarely discuss what I actually eat, or what my practical rules are. So here goes:

First of all, I am doing Weight Watchers (which has re-branded itself, "WW.") I really like WW, and I think they are one of the only weight loss plans that is science-based and maintainable. I find that their "PointsPlus" system works really well for me. It keeps me accountable without obsessing over calories, and teaches healthy eating habits by rewarding positive behaviors. Rather than restriction, WW is focused on creating a diet and activity routine that works for individuals, and makes you feel good and want to do the right thing. It is oriented toward individual plans, flexibility and results.

I do also use MyFitnessPal because I want to track my macros, which is one thing that WW does not let you track. And, I have found by comparing my WW data with MyFitnessPal data that the WW system is legit -- I see comparable data between them, although WW is a little more forgiving toward some foods in terms of how many calories they really have. I also find that MyFitnessPal is a better tracker for my cardio and weight lifting, and it is so easy to use that it doesn't bother me to be tracking everything twice.

In spite of my glowing review of WW, I am actually considering cancelling my membership. I have re-set my nutritional profile. I am eating under my WW points every day, and I have learned what I can and can't do in terms of food and stay on my health goals. WW costs me $20 / mo which is not terrible, but I could use the extra money -- who couldn't? That's a tank of gas (well, like 2/3...) or a self-treat, or savings. I am smashing my goals, and I have learned the why and how behind all of it, I'm not so dependent on WW to give me direction any more. I am not decided on it either way, and I have to stay until May to be able to cancel without paying a fee, so a couple more months anyway.

OK -- the food, Kyle. What the fuck do you eat?

As I often point out: Saturday is my "Zero Day," meaning I eat whatever I want on Saturday. The rest of the week, I have the following rules:

• Eat a salad for lunch
• 50%+ of my calories from vegetables, all the time
• Eat a lean protein with every meal
• One 24-hour fast every week (usually Fri into Sat.)
• Drink a minimum of 64 oz. of water a day, a full 8 oz. at least 15 minutes before every meal

So, my daily breakfast:

• Mon - Fri I usually eat about 1 cup of fresh fruit with approx. 2 tbls of Greek yogurt and about 1/8 of a cup (yes that little) (yes, I measure it) of Kashi Go Lean Granola.
• On Saturday I usually don't eat breakfast
• On Sunday I usually make myself a 2-egg omelet with whatever vegetables I feel like that day, about 1 oz of feta cheese, 2 oven-baked hash-brown patties, 1 English muffin and sometimes (about every other week) 3 slices of oven-baked turkey bacon.

My daily lunch:

• Six days a week I make a large salad consisting of ~ (approximate amounts)
• 2 cups shredded iceberg lettuce, 2 cups mixed spinach, baby kale and chard greens, 1 cup dry coleslaw mix
• 1/2 cup diced onion, mixed bell peppers, garlic and jalapeno and / or cubanelle peppers
• 1/4 cup sliced salad olives
• 1 dill pickle spear
• either roasted red peppers or banana peppers
• a handful each of medium black olives and garbanzo beans
• 6 oz. of either deli turkey or imitation crab meat or grilled chicken breast
• 1 large hard boiled egg
• a healthy sprinkle of mixed hemp, chia and flax seed (I am switching to ground)
• a palmful of mixed nuts (usually peanuts, sunflower seeds, walnuts, pecans, almonds, pumpkin seeds, and cashews -- whatever I grab at the dollar store, it's WAY cheaper to make my own mixed nut blend than to buy it that way...)
• sometimes a sprinkle of bacon bits, literally a sprinkle just for the taste boost
• I make my own salad dressing every day in a little tiny container, normally with like a half tsp of oil, hot sauce, dry spices, lime or lemon juice, apple cider vinegar and spicy mustard and / or balsamic vinegar. Sometimes I switch it up to pesto, and once in a while I do a peanut-butter based quasi-Asian style dressing. Like 50 calories at most, usually less than 10.
• On Saturdays I usually don't eat lunch. If I do, it is a salad.

My daily dinners:

• Six days a week, I am boring as fuck and I eat basically the same thing every day:
• Either a chicken breast or a lean pork chop
• A huge fucking pile of vegetables, here are the ones I prefer (not all of these every meal:)
• Brussels Sprouts (I eat them like every other day, or more)
• Summer Squash & Zucchini
• Asparagus (I buy a big bunch every 2 weeks when I go grocery shopping)
• Mixed bell peppers
• Onion (I eat at least 1 whole onion a day between my lunch and dinner, usually more)
• Garlic (I eat a shitload of garlic)
• Broccoli & Califlour
• Red potato (I love potatoes and it is a BS lie that you can't eat them and lose weight.)
• Ginger (I eat a LOT of ginger)
• jalapeno
• I use whatever dry spices I like any given day, salt & pepper to taste, toss it all together, wrap it in foil and let it cook in my toaster oven on 420 for an hour, uncovered and on broil the last 15 min. Sometimes the potatoes take a little longer to get to the softness that I like if I didn't pre-heat the oven first. 
• On Saturday I sometimes eat the above. But, I also allow myself to have "indulgence meals" on Saturday if I want them. I often have Buffalo chicken tenders and oven-baked french fries. Last week I had sushi. I sometimes have take-out Thai. Whatever. 

My snacks:

• First of all, if I eat something like 1 piece of candy, or drive-by graze a couple chips at work, or something like that, I don't track it and I don't consider it a "snack."
• On Thursdays at work it is "Popcorn Day" and I always eat a bag of popcorn with some shitty super-sodium-artificial-garbage-food flavoring -- I like the "chile lime" mixed with "garlic parm." It's the grossest thing in my diet, totally does not qualify as "eating clean," and I don't give one fuck. It's yummy and it is a highlight of my week. 
• At home in the evening I usually have a couple spoonfuls of fat-free cottage cheese
• When I am prepping my meals for the next day, I also usually have a spoonful of Greek yogurt and a handful of nuts (huhuhu I like nuts in my mouth...) and sometimes a dill pickle spear.
• If I feel actually hungry later in the evening, about once a week I have some saltine crackers with peanut butter.
• A few nights a week I make myself a snack platter with some olives, pickles, and a sliced apple
• Also a couple nights a week, I will eat 2 small frozen (cooked of course) bean & cheese burritos with my home made pico de gallo.

"Forbidden Foods"

I do not have any forbidden foods. If I want something, I have it. I do have some rules about certain types of foods though.

• I no longer eat sandwich bread. If I do eat anything like a sandwich, it is in a wrap. I do still eat English muffins once in a while. And I have eaten at Subway a couple times which was a whole wheat sub roll. So really, I don't make or buy bread any more, but it is not totally out of my diet.
• I have not eaten pizza at home, period. And I have only eaten 2 pieces of pizza -- at a party at work -- since I started losing weight in November 2018. Frozen pizzas were a huge problem for me, I was eating an average of 2 a week by myself. They are a binge food for me. I cannot control my eating if I have one in the house -- I will eat the entire pizza in one sitting, and then have another meal afterward. I cannot yet trust myself with pizza. This is the closest thing to a "forbidden" food for me.
• I've stopped eating chips and things like trail mix. Those are also binge foods for me. I only allow myself to buy saltine crackers, and even with those I have to use a lot of self control. 
• I also use the following rule to check in with myself before I eat a snack or an unplanned meal: drink a whole glass of water and wait at least 15 minutes. If you're still hungry after that, eat something, but start with some pea pods or carrots and see what happens from there.

I didn't mention coffee. I drink coffee with non-dairy creamer and Stevia extract. I drink as much coffee as I want, and I do not track it. I don't care. I tend to drink about 3 cups of coffee a day, although sometimes I have a cup of coffee after lunch at work. If I have any coffee after 2 pm or so, I have decaf. I love coffee and no one will ever convince me to stop. There is plenty of supporting data for the positive benefits of coffee, and the amount of additives I put in it are negligible in terms of diet.

So that's that. My whole diet. It's not that impressive. But, it is a vegetable-based whole food diet that is very low carb, high protein, fat-adapted. I am not specifically eating the Paleo diet, but it is pretty close. I have also read the book, "It Starts With Food," which is the Whole30 diet, and again, I am not doing the Whole30, but close. I don't totally agree with any diet plan that is out there, but the two I mention here are ones that I think are science-based and do not have any long term health risks.

Smashed It - boom!

I said I was gonna lean in, and I did. Weighed in at 249, meaning I lost 7 lbs this week and 48 lbs overall.

Also lost an inch around my chest and oddly enough half an inch off my calf which I didn't think was fat -- LOL. I've seen a marked increase in the definition of my legs overall, so I'm pleased to see that result. Also oddly, my neck seems to have gotten half an inch thicker, but maybe when I took my measurements 2 weeks ago I measured wrong? My neck has been 18 inches for years, even when I was down to 185 lbs in 2012, it was 17. I also lost half an inch off my waist which I was expecting; I have had to tighten my belt down another notch and I will have to do another one pretty soon -- that will make it down to the 4th hole, when I was squeezing myself into the last one when I started and was thinking that I might have to make a new one, or get a bigger belt.

Made a few adjustments to my routine this week:

• I have decided that "Leg Day," which is Tues & Thu will be cardio-focused on the treadmill using high inclines at fast pace, with varied positioning to work my whole lower body. I have ditched the machines I was working out on at the gym; I am not convinced I was getting any benefits from them, and the HIT cardio results this week are pretty persuasive to me. If the results stay in line with what I saw this week, I will stay with it. 
• I have started eating my dinner later in the evening, which has resulted in me not needing to eat essentially a second meal later on. I was able to not eat at all after dinner, or only have an actual snack-sized snack. I was trying this method where I was eating half to two-thirds of my dinner then setting it aside for half an hour or thereabouts, then finishing it later. It wasn't very effective though. I found that I was obsessing on it: thinking about it constantly, watching the clock, planning my next meal before I even finished the one I was artificially dragging out over an hour. And I was still eating a much larger snack -- more like a small meal -- later in the evening. This week, I ate my dinner as much as an hour and a half later -- around 8 pm, and I ate the entire meal (mindfully, which I am going to write a whole post about...) and was not hungry afterward. So, the gimmicky eat-half-now-eat-half-later method is shelved. It was a good idea, but it just didn't work.

I'm thinking about switching to free weights instead of the machines at the gym. I don't know. I still feel a little self conscious, especially with some of the really fit, muscular guys who work out at my gym. I don't worry about them judging me, I worry about me judging me. Regardless, I have been YouTubing some free weight training and advice videos and watching some of the guys at the gym who are really fit and observing which lifts / routines they do, and just letting it ruminate around in my head. We'll see.

I think my goal for last week definitely got met, smashed it in fact. I was struggling for about 3 weeks with a plateau, or my metabolism trying to enforce a new set point, or whatever it was -- I couldn't seem to get down below 260 and stay there. Every time, I would see the scale go down to 259 or less and the next fuckin' day, I would be right back up there -- 261, 263 -- fuckin' 265, and I'm like, OH HELL NO. I really used my mind-body connection this week. I stepped it up at the gym and in my home workouts, I stuck to my diet plan 100% and enforced a 1000 calorie deficit (or more) every day, and pushed myself hard on weight lifting. And it paid off. I am thrilled with the result, and I think I succeeded in getting over that little hump.

Let's recap my actual set goals. I need a little reminder. I did promise myself that my very strict up-tick this week was not going to set a new bar. I'm not very good at holding myself back once I get to a new level, but I also have found a few of my limits in terms of what is sustainable. I know I can't do what I did last week 100% of the time going forward. It was a means to an end, a hard push, not the new normal.

Thus:

• Do something active 6 days a week
• Go to the gym 5 x/wk
• Weight train 3 x/wk
• Do HIT cardio 2 x/wk
• Minimum 300 minutes cardio every week
• Maintain a 500 calorie deficit every day
• Take my meds every day - (in fact, I have added biotin to my regimen, so...)
• AM: 1 biotin, 2 St. Johns's Wort, 1 B-Complex
• PM: 1 St. John's Wort, 2 Tylenol PM, 10 mg melatonin, 3 Valerian Root
• Saturday is "zero day" (meaning I can do nothing if I want, and eat anything I want, but also "zero" because the only caveat is: I will also do zero harm to my other goals while I do whatever the fuck I feel like on Sat.)
• Eat mindfully (my mindful, not someone else's rules.)