Wow!! My old clothes fit me again! 20% of my starting weight lost! 💪💪✨🌈✔✔✔

So I realized I should probably be celebrating 50+ lbs. lost a little more. I am just about at the halfway mark toward my goal, which puts me about 30 days ahead of schedule. Weighed in this week at 244, meaning 2 lbs lost last week and 53 lbs lost overall. The biggest change I have noticed is in my face, which I am really happy about.

I also tried on a bunch of my clothes that I have been too fat for, some of them for like 4-5 years since they fit me. All of my size 38 waist pants fit me again. And my XL shirts all fit again. Here's a  few of my fav shirts that fit me again, it's so awesome. I remember more than once thinking I should just get rid of them because I thought I would never be able to get into them again, and here I am wearing them:

Those were my top 3 go-to shirts. I am so happy they are fitting me again. I gotta iron them all. They've been languishing in my closet for a the better part of a decade.

This is the first time I have really noticed a difference in my appearance since starting this lifestyle change I am working on. I was feeling a little down, in spite of the scale telling me a different story. And then the other day I posted a selfie on FB and a ton of people commented on how they could see the change in my face, and I was honestly floored by it myself. Here it is:

And I think I look even better today, in the comparison pic above.

I've lost 53 lbs, which is aaaaaalllllmost 20% of my starting weight. I also have noticed that my body shape is really starting to change. I'm not ready to share any of the body pics. But I am starting to have noticeable pecs, my man boobs are going away, and my waist is shrinking -- I have tightened my belt down 3 notches in 5 months. My legs are starting to get really defined and I am getting stronger, lifting heavier and in better form all the time, and my cardio is way up, average 80 minutes a day and I have to get up to at least 3.5 - 4 mph before my heart rate hits 120. I've been going to the gym 5x a week for a consistent 2 months now, and I feel like I am starting to settle into a sustainable routine, and the results are right there on camera. I am overjoyed. 53 lbs lost, 59 to go. That's a hell of a lot better than 112 to go back in November. I also feel like I can do it, and I am enjoying being healthier, I look forward to going to the gym at 5am. I never thought I would be "one o those people who goes to the gym before dawn." Turns out I love going to the gym before work.

Sunday Walk Report, a.k.a. rest day rebound from hell

Probably should have ate some breakfast before I went for my Sunday walk, but it is such a gorgeous, sunny day, I couldn't wait. I also should have brought some water. I hit the first couple hills pretty hard and felt a little weak and wobbly most of the rest of the way. I kept thinking, ok that endorphin rush is gonna kick in, and it did, but it was not very prolonged. I ended up taking a handful of short breaks, when I usually only take one, and I'm sure a couple cars that passed me wondered if I was drunk, lol. My knee gave a few "warning twinges," as I call them, so I also walked much slower than usual just to take extra care not to hurt myself. I was not expecting to flag so soon. My rest day yesterday was more like a crash day. I did put in a hard push last week, on a strict calorie deficit.

I officially declare the remainder of today to be back to rest mode.

I'm gonna do some minimal chores and sit my ass down. Probably face down into a GoT binge. I'm almost done with Season 3. Only 3 weeks until the Season 8 premier. I would normally put in another 45 min or so on my treadmill, but I am not gonna do that tonight I don't think.

OK, must end on a positive note. (Also note, learning from a bad experience is not negative...) I did see green grass, saw and heard running water all along the route, and most of the Penobscot River is open water with cool looking icebergs.

Got my Sunday walk in just before the storm...

I never regret going for a walk.

I managed to get a walk in before the snow started. Well, it was starting the last third of my walk. It's always easy to go for a walk on a sunny day, but I find I often enjoy going for a walk in inclement weather. And I often say that I like walking and hiking in winter and early spring when the trees are bare and there is no ground cover, because you can really see the landscape, and it's easier to see the wildlife. I did my usual walk, the Old Country Road loop. There are a lot of cool houses on the route, and it is a really nice varied terrain with a lot of fairly steep hills, so it is also a natural interval hill course. I want to take pictures of more of the houses, but it makes me feel like a creeper -- it is Sunday and people are home and I'm taking pics of their house... No, I swear I'm not an insurance adjuster. This is Fairview Farm from the southeast side, and it is one of the coolest farmhouses on the route, with that big red barn and they have black & white cows. I'm sure they are used to people taking pictures of their house. But there's a bunch of creepy Victorian farmhouses and some pretty decent views of Bald Mountain. There is also an eagles nest and a lot of other birds, including a flock of pigeons that I swear to God follow me.

I really did get home just in time. It is snowing like hell now. And I still have a lot to do to get ready for the workweek. And even though I had the day off, daylight savings time still fucked me over. I am feeling behind at everything. I forgot until I got out of bed and looked at my phone clock and was like, "Mother fucker! That's right. OMG, it's 10am?" LOL So, I need to stop writing a blog post and get to work. 

42 lbs lost and going strong

I said I'd have a better story this week and I definitely do. Weighed in at 255 lbs, so I lost 7 lbs this week and 42 lbs since the start. Also took my measurements and I am happy to report I have lost 1/2 an inch off my neck, 1"inch each from my chest and stomach, and 2" inches off my thigh. 💪✔

As I've already mentioned on Facebook, I noticed for the first time that my pecs are starting to be visible when I flex them, and I am starting to be able to see and feel that my booty is getting nicer. I noticed it first early in the week when I realized my underwear is fitting different. Then, I also did a "feel test" so to speak later in the week, right after I got off the treadmill from doing a hill challenge and I was like, "OMG, I can grab a handful back there. Sweet." I noticed last week that my stomach is getting visibly smaller, and that it doesn't feel all hard and pushed out and my shirts are falling lower on me -- I don't feel all the time like my belly is hanging out of my clothes.

I was feeling a little discouraged earlier in the week because I was kind of treading water in terms of losing weight. I went to the gym 4 times and worked out at home 6 days, and was staying the same weight every day. Then, this morning I got on the scale and was like, "Holy shit! Seriously?" I actually weighed myself again (which I rarely ever do) just to make sure and it was the same to the tenth of a pound. Hell yeah, 7 lbs. So my body was just messing with me -- holding out on letting go of some poundage to test me. It was a test, too. I was feeling like my effort was wasted or I was doing it wrong. Even though this week was also the week I started to actually be able to see physical results from exercise, in fact, I think that made it even more confounding to have the scale be so stubborn.

And really, I am down 14 lbs from last Saturday. I reported my Fri weight last week... 'cause I was ashamed of what I had done to tank my diet on my mini-vaca. I also only went to the gym Mon & Tues last week. I will confess now that I actually gained weight last week, almost 8 lbs. So really, it took me a hella lot of effort to bang that number back down to where it was. I ate at a 1000 calorie deficit for 3 days and did 80 minutes on the treadmill between the gym and home every day. It took me until Wednesday to get back down to where I was the first day of my mini-vaca last week. Then I lost another 9 lbs. I am fairly certain a lot of it was water weight, considering I had to pee probably twice as often as usual all week.

I would not be surprised to find out all of it was water weight. When I say I tanked my diet I am not kidding. I ate more than I should have the whole 4 1/2 days, had all kinds of garbage food, and a couple mild binges. I say mild binges because it was really just good old fashioned overeating, but I was aware that I was responding to psychological eating triggers and still couldn't stop myself, so slow-roll binge eating.

I also got drunk 4 nights last week. The liquor itself is not really the problem in terms of calories -- I am not a drunk eater, I skip meals when I drink. The problem is that alcohol fucks up my system for days sometimes; water retention, sodium cravings, yo-yo weight, and it ruins any plan I might have to work out, even a short walk on the treadmill. I normally don't let myself drink more than once a week, but again -- "mini-vaca" was a drinking trigger. Additionally, I forget to take my meds at bedtime when I drink, so I seriously fucked up my St. John's levels last week, I could feel that I was unstable, which also contributed to binge eating.

I never understood how connected my weight and depression were until it started to get better. I also really love how exercising makes me feel, so being hung over 4 days last week (including a work day... ug...) also wrecked my ability to work out. On Sunday, I was like, "Fuck this. I have got to get on the treadmill and work this shit out." I did 95 minutes in two sessions and actually did feel pretty good after. But, I still didn't make it to the gym Monday morning. I didn't have enough recovery time from my little 5-day party, and in fact I was at a sleep deficit all week.

This coming week, I am going to have to even it out a little bit. I don't want to set the bar higher at this point. I am at a level of activity that is right at the edge of my ability to maintain. That is fine, but I am not ready to step it up yet. I am still struggling to get into a set pattern, and my first and most important rule is: I will hit every one of my goals 100%, which means I am not allowing myself to set goals I can't get to. Every goal moves up (or down) in small increments. I also like the feeling I get from pushing myself past those marks, so I actually feel incentivized by my goals. I did temporarily move the bar up this week because I fucked up so bad the week before. (See: Squeaked through.) I just need to remind myself that this was a temporary adjustment, not the new bar height.

LOL. I had a great week, lost a ton of weight, noticed my muscles getting bigger and my measurements changed significantly for the better, and my clothes are fitting nicer. And I'm trashing myself for not hitting every single goal. OK, no more of that nonsense! I had a great week and I am going to have another great week this coming week, too.

Cut 25 minutes off my round trip time in 3 months

Just did my normal outdoor walk, from my house up the hill on Main Rd. N, then loop around at the west end of Old Country Road, then loop around at the east end of same, then back to my house on Main Rd. N again. 4.1 miles. I just did it in 75 minutes, which is about 3 1/4 mph. The first time I did it, it took me 100 minutes, and I was winded and already sore before I even got home. Today, I kept finding myself walking faster on the uphill sections and when I got home I was like, "Maybe I'll get on the treadmill." And I probably will a little later. So, that means I've cut 25 minutes off the total round trip time from 3 months ago when I did that walk the first time. And I never felt totally winded, although I did have to take my scarf off and open up my jacket for a while, but it's hella cold so that didn't last long, it easy to cool down too much. That's totally awesome. I'm really pleased to see and feel such a tangible change in my health and my cardio conditioning. I've always liked walking, especially outside with music. It makes me feel good, and I always have really good creative ideas when I am on a walk.