Disappointing. Or aggravating. Or both.

256. So I gained 1 lb. It pisses me off, 'cause I had a "perfect week." I went to the gym 5 days, hit all my marks for weight training and knocked my cardio out of the park and stayed on track with my nutritional goals. It's bullshit, how the fuck did I gain a pound? Grrr.

I think my body is trying to assert a new set point. My metabolism could be slowing down in response to losing 40+ lbs. I say hell no to that. Gotta really lean in this week. Cut my calories back a little probably and step up my weight training -- it was time for that anyway. I could also be gaining muscle, it does outweigh fat by 5x by volume, and weight training burns fat 2-3x more efficiently than cardio alone. Regardless, I am not satisfied with being stuck in this 255-265 rang. I keep getting down into the 250s, but I can't stay down there. Like I said, time to lean in a little.

That is all. No excuses, get what you want.

Got my Sunday walk in just before the storm...

I never regret going for a walk.

I managed to get a walk in before the snow started. Well, it was starting the last third of my walk. It's always easy to go for a walk on a sunny day, but I find I often enjoy going for a walk in inclement weather. And I often say that I like walking and hiking in winter and early spring when the trees are bare and there is no ground cover, because you can really see the landscape, and it's easier to see the wildlife. I did my usual walk, the Old Country Road loop. There are a lot of cool houses on the route, and it is a really nice varied terrain with a lot of fairly steep hills, so it is also a natural interval hill course. I want to take pictures of more of the houses, but it makes me feel like a creeper -- it is Sunday and people are home and I'm taking pics of their house... No, I swear I'm not an insurance adjuster. This is Fairview Farm from the southeast side, and it is one of the coolest farmhouses on the route, with that big red barn and they have black & white cows. I'm sure they are used to people taking pictures of their house. But there's a bunch of creepy Victorian farmhouses and some pretty decent views of Bald Mountain. There is also an eagles nest and a lot of other birds, including a flock of pigeons that I swear to God follow me.

I really did get home just in time. It is snowing like hell now. And I still have a lot to do to get ready for the workweek. And even though I had the day off, daylight savings time still fucked me over. I am feeling behind at everything. I forgot until I got out of bed and looked at my phone clock and was like, "Mother fucker! That's right. OMG, it's 10am?" LOL So, I need to stop writing a blog post and get to work. 

42 lbs lost and going strong

I said I'd have a better story this week and I definitely do. Weighed in at 255 lbs, so I lost 7 lbs this week and 42 lbs since the start. Also took my measurements and I am happy to report I have lost 1/2 an inch off my neck, 1"inch each from my chest and stomach, and 2" inches off my thigh. 💪✔

As I've already mentioned on Facebook, I noticed for the first time that my pecs are starting to be visible when I flex them, and I am starting to be able to see and feel that my booty is getting nicer. I noticed it first early in the week when I realized my underwear is fitting different. Then, I also did a "feel test" so to speak later in the week, right after I got off the treadmill from doing a hill challenge and I was like, "OMG, I can grab a handful back there. Sweet." I noticed last week that my stomach is getting visibly smaller, and that it doesn't feel all hard and pushed out and my shirts are falling lower on me -- I don't feel all the time like my belly is hanging out of my clothes.

I was feeling a little discouraged earlier in the week because I was kind of treading water in terms of losing weight. I went to the gym 4 times and worked out at home 6 days, and was staying the same weight every day. Then, this morning I got on the scale and was like, "Holy shit! Seriously?" I actually weighed myself again (which I rarely ever do) just to make sure and it was the same to the tenth of a pound. Hell yeah, 7 lbs. So my body was just messing with me -- holding out on letting go of some poundage to test me. It was a test, too. I was feeling like my effort was wasted or I was doing it wrong. Even though this week was also the week I started to actually be able to see physical results from exercise, in fact, I think that made it even more confounding to have the scale be so stubborn.

And really, I am down 14 lbs from last Saturday. I reported my Fri weight last week... 'cause I was ashamed of what I had done to tank my diet on my mini-vaca. I also only went to the gym Mon & Tues last week. I will confess now that I actually gained weight last week, almost 8 lbs. So really, it took me a hella lot of effort to bang that number back down to where it was. I ate at a 1000 calorie deficit for 3 days and did 80 minutes on the treadmill between the gym and home every day. It took me until Wednesday to get back down to where I was the first day of my mini-vaca last week. Then I lost another 9 lbs. I am fairly certain a lot of it was water weight, considering I had to pee probably twice as often as usual all week.

I would not be surprised to find out all of it was water weight. When I say I tanked my diet I am not kidding. I ate more than I should have the whole 4 1/2 days, had all kinds of garbage food, and a couple mild binges. I say mild binges because it was really just good old fashioned overeating, but I was aware that I was responding to psychological eating triggers and still couldn't stop myself, so slow-roll binge eating.

I also got drunk 4 nights last week. The liquor itself is not really the problem in terms of calories -- I am not a drunk eater, I skip meals when I drink. The problem is that alcohol fucks up my system for days sometimes; water retention, sodium cravings, yo-yo weight, and it ruins any plan I might have to work out, even a short walk on the treadmill. I normally don't let myself drink more than once a week, but again -- "mini-vaca" was a drinking trigger. Additionally, I forget to take my meds at bedtime when I drink, so I seriously fucked up my St. John's levels last week, I could feel that I was unstable, which also contributed to binge eating.

I never understood how connected my weight and depression were until it started to get better. I also really love how exercising makes me feel, so being hung over 4 days last week (including a work day... ug...) also wrecked my ability to work out. On Sunday, I was like, "Fuck this. I have got to get on the treadmill and work this shit out." I did 95 minutes in two sessions and actually did feel pretty good after. But, I still didn't make it to the gym Monday morning. I didn't have enough recovery time from my little 5-day party, and in fact I was at a sleep deficit all week.

This coming week, I am going to have to even it out a little bit. I don't want to set the bar higher at this point. I am at a level of activity that is right at the edge of my ability to maintain. That is fine, but I am not ready to step it up yet. I am still struggling to get into a set pattern, and my first and most important rule is: I will hit every one of my goals 100%, which means I am not allowing myself to set goals I can't get to. Every goal moves up (or down) in small increments. I also like the feeling I get from pushing myself past those marks, so I actually feel incentivized by my goals. I did temporarily move the bar up this week because I fucked up so bad the week before. (See: Squeaked through.) I just need to remind myself that this was a temporary adjustment, not the new bar height.

LOL. I had a great week, lost a ton of weight, noticed my muscles getting bigger and my measurements changed significantly for the better, and my clothes are fitting nicer. And I'm trashing myself for not hitting every single goal. OK, no more of that nonsense! I had a great week and I am going to have another great week this coming week, too.

Squeaked through.

Just squeaked through this week. Weighed in at 261 so I lost a pound. But I really gained weight this week and then did a little intermittent fasting to make up the gap. Technically, I also only lost 6/10th of a pound, but I am only recording the whole number on the scale in the morning.

I have been on a little mini-vaca this week, took a 4 day weekend and a half-ish (a little more than half) day on Wed. I only went to the gym Mon & Tues, although I did do a 4 mile walk on Thu and an hour on my treadmill that same day. But, I also needed the rest. I took some extra days off work because I needed some me time, and I really pushed myself hard at the gym last week in anticipation that this week I would be easing off a little. Turns out I eased off a lot. But that's ok.

Today is my last day of mini-vaca, so I'm back to hibernation mode. See you next week. I'll have a better story to tell, too.

Cut 25 minutes off my round trip time in 3 months

Just did my normal outdoor walk, from my house up the hill on Main Rd. N, then loop around at the west end of Old Country Road, then loop around at the east end of same, then back to my house on Main Rd. N again. 4.1 miles. I just did it in 75 minutes, which is about 3 1/4 mph. The first time I did it, it took me 100 minutes, and I was winded and already sore before I even got home. Today, I kept finding myself walking faster on the uphill sections and when I got home I was like, "Maybe I'll get on the treadmill." And I probably will a little later. So, that means I've cut 25 minutes off the total round trip time from 3 months ago when I did that walk the first time. And I never felt totally winded, although I did have to take my scarf off and open up my jacket for a while, but it's hella cold so that didn't last long, it easy to cool down too much. That's totally awesome. I'm really pleased to see and feel such a tangible change in my health and my cardio conditioning. I've always liked walking, especially outside with music. It makes me feel good, and I always have really good creative ideas when I am on a walk.

Very successful week

Oh my god! I did it! I went to the gym on a Monday! And went to the gym 5 days. 💪✔✨

Weighed in at 262, so I have lost 35 lbs. and over 10% of my starting weight, and that kicked my average weight loss up to 2.5 lbs / wk, but that will level back out to closer to 2. I am losing about 10 lbs. a month though, so that is a pretty realistic average.

I have been weighing myself every day and I can see the clear pattern now. My weight fluctuates by as much as 10 lbs over the course of the week, and I tend to see the biggest gains right in the beginning of the week, including Sundays because I am a lot less active on the weekends and I tend to indulge myself with food a little. It doesn't bother me as long as my average weight loss stays on pace. I really think that I can get down to my target weight in a year, so by the end of Nov 2019. i started at 297. So if I can lose 10 lbs a month, I should be down to 175-180 by that time. I know that my weight loss might taper off after the first 50 lbs or so, but I also know I can do it.

The gym was good this week. Like I said, I went every day M-F before work. 30 min on the treadmill all 5 days, then M-W-F were Chest & Arms Day and T-Th were Leg Day. Although every day is kinda leg day because I use the treadmill so much. But I did try to focus on the areas I need to tone up still -- my thighs and hip abductors. At home I also used my treadmill Sun - Thu, which is really Booty Day because I use it on the highest elevation and use the handles to lean in. Every time I feel the burn in my glutes I'm like, "Yes, my ass is getting cuter right now."

I did struggle to get as much lifting in as I would like. I am still not quite getting there early enough so that I don't feel rushed, and so I am on time to work. I could do 20 min on the treadmill, but I don't want to do that. That adds up to almost an hour less cardio by the end of the week and I am already doing an hour a day on the home treadmill, so I don't want to compensate on that end. So I just need to get to the gym earlier. I might have to sacrifice some computer time in the morning. Maybe I really don't need 30 minutes of Facebook every morning.... I feel like I need to be in my car rolling by 7:20 at the very latest in order to get to work by 8. That means I need to be in the locker room changing by 10 past -- or at least I need to be finishing my last set wherever I am by 7:10. So in order to get 30 minutes on the treadmill and have the time I need to work out... I like to do 3 sets of 10 reps 3 x/ ea on 4 machines, and that takes me about 35 minutes. So off the treadmill by 6:35, I really need to be at the gym by 6. So I really need to be leaving home about 5:50 to make that happen. You'd think, getting up at 5, I could do that.

Goals for next week:

💪Go to the gym 5 days
💪Lift full 3 / 10 x 4
💪Maintain avg weight loss at 2.5 / wk

I've officially lost 10% of my starting weight

SWEET! Weighed in at 265, which means I have officially lost (more than) 10% of my body weight. 32 lbs lost, and still maintaining right around 2 lbs / wk. Also found my cloth tape measure, so I was able to measure my body. No surprises there, but I am glad I can start tracking again. I know for sure I am getting smaller because I can't keep my pants up, so it's good to be able to really have data on it other than simply the number on the scale.

I was a little worried about going off the wagon this week. I only went to the gym twice. I did use my treadmill at home, but I only lifted weights two times. I failed again to go to the gym on Monday morning. I was stranded at home Wed by a snowstorm and then Friday I had an emergency with my furnace at home that started Thu night and I just couldn't. I did manage to stay on my dietary wagon. And I got 8 hours of cardio, I hit the home treadmill hard.

This is a quick post I know, I am trying to blog at least once a week.

I am not going to take Monday off the list yet. I am going to try to weight train M-W-F, so I am going to try again tomorrow. I drank a lot last weekend (both Fri & Sat nite) which I did not do this weekend, so I am a lot more energetic today than I was last Sun. I was up and out for my Sunday walk by 10:30. I am going to give it another go.

I'm having some stress and it is testing my commitment to my goals. But, I am going to win.